Chatty girl issues (the one where JoElla is having a speaking problem, and other rando thoughts)

 Yup.  

Tis true.

I have noticed the last few days when I am speaking. My words are not flowing like they should be.  They get caught up, and hang on each other.  They stumble and pause.  It is becoming a chore to verbalize what I want and need to say.  It’s not like when I first became sick with Rona, or even with a MECFS diagnosis.  Then I could at least use adverbs and adjectives to try to describe what in the hell I am trying to say.  Now I just stumble. I am using sounds like “umm” a lot.  A lot a lot.  And pause a lot.  Like a lot a lot. So much that even husband noticed.  And he never notices things.

I did notice that this last round of strokes my language ability isn’t working as well.   But when I was able to calm my nervous system again,  and let my brain calm back down, it wasn’t as bad, and dare I say back to normal.

Nothing really stressful has occurred, and lately, that is something I don’t get to say often. I did have 2 really bad insomniac days, but have slept since. So I don’t think that could be it.  I  did start a new medication from my  Long Covid Specialist, but the randomness of it isn’t consistent to be tied back to a new medication. Eating?  I’m doing better, no longer queasy and have an appetite.

I’d be a liar if  I  told you I wasn’t a wee bit worried. I’d be a liar if  I say I am not scared.  To be honest, I’m worried. Very worried. 

See friends, I have noticed that I am self isolating again.  I’m using the fact that Middle Cherub needs to use my car, a reason not to leave the house.  And  the fact that husband is  working later and later, my daily conversations isn’t all that much.  And talking with my cats, well that’s easy!

So I need to try to figure out which ailment is  causing it?  Could it be due to the strokes I have had in my left  front  lobe?  Could it be a kick in the pants Long Covid kicking me in the pants?  LC doesn’t like stress at all. Like not at all, at all.  A MECFS crash?  An Epstein Barr reactivated?  A yet another new issue?

Ironically I can read, write, and sing just fine.  My train of thoughts seem normal.  But (isn’t there always) if I try to find a picture of a word in my mind to describe a word that I am having a hard time trying to communicate, my mind just stops. Comes to a complete stop.  Like do not pass go stop.   And then just like that, its working again.

So my new Long Covid Specialist wants to know why I am having strokes.  And recommend that I get another heart monitor session through my Neurologist.  Good thing  I have an appointment on Tuesday.   Yippy!!  No seriously,  we do need to figure out the why’s.  

We could go into the rabbit hole, because my health decline started on March 2nd 2020..

I’ve always been fascinated by the brain, even more so now. I’ve become my very own science experiment.